Journeys
Yesterday I was watching TV and I saw a commercial staring an actress that I didn't recognize but had the strongest urge that I did. She just looked so familiar, yet I couldn't place why I felt she was famous. I wanted to go on IMDB and look her up but every time I seriously thought about doing so I had a faint, but strong, urge to not do so. Almost like I, or some part of me, was completely sure I could delve into my memory to figure it out. (I do this a lot actually when I forget something that I feel I know, a way to strengthen my memory recall.) The commercial come on many times that night and each time it taunted me. I just had to figure out who she was! It was frustrating to know I could just pull her up with IMDB to find the answer but have this strong urge to not do so. The one clue I had were persistent images in my mind of subservience, or groveling, just in general actions suggesting meekness or deference. Over and over those images would play in my mind. After a while I kind of sent this remembering task to the background of my mind, something I wanted to know but wasn't actively engaged in. Eventually while eating dinner it just hit me who she was. The images that had been playing in my mind were scenes from the movies she's been in.
It was an utterly fantastic thing to actually remember who she was, on my own! Since discovering the answer to the question I was asking so much I turned to the process that enabled me to find it. Mainly the images I had in my mind, but just as important a strong insistence to not "cheat" and lookup the answer. That part interested me the most. A part of me seemed to be sure I knew the answer and that I would eventually discover it and so expressed itself by strongly urging me not to go online. Interesting how consciously I couldn't remember her face but yet some other part of me was sure I did. Having been acquainted with intuition a lot over the past year I decided to heed that small voice to not lookup the answer and trust I could discover it myself.
This whole process reminds me a lot of something Jesus said. I'm not really a big fan of the organization that's sprung up around him, i.e. Christianity, but I do think the man himself was really cool. The parable of note here being the fisherman and the fish. Give a man fish and he'll be fed but once, teach him to fish and he'll be fed for a lifetime.
There are some things that you can only discover by traveling from one point to another, simply being transplanted at the new place doesn't bring the same knowledge. Not everything can you be given, some things you must discover on your own. Because it's the process itself, and not the end result, that brings the knowledge. Life itself seems similar to that thought, just the process of living it is the...I don't know.