July 2007 - Posts
Dreamed I was going to a super basketball event, nearly a worldwide event. I was assigned a specific number to park my car. I parked in a gravel parking lot and the building seemed like a high school, not at all matching up to my expectations given the amount of attention given to the event. When I got inside I saw that each seat had a piece of cake on it. I had to use the bathroom though, and not wanting to spend hours in my seat in this condition I left to find a bathroom. I traveled a long way inside the high school to find a men's bathroom but couldn't find one even though I found a couple of women's bathrooms. A couple of people did offer to help me. One was a lady who said she'd ask someone she knew where the men's bathrooms were. While she did so I continued looking myself. I went into a gym that had been converted for an event. There was a white man in there whose skin looked very pasty, I could see his arteries and veins through it and it looked greasy, it looked very nasty actually. I asked him where the men's bathrooms were but he was of no use to me. I came upon a woman in another room who was laying on top of a man while another was on top of her. She noticed me and smiled seductively while turning around so that her face was to the guy who was on top of her.
While still searching I came upon another large gym type area. I though to open the door but saw what looked like a quiz bowl inside so I didn't want to disturb them. I had reached the end of the building I was in and people came through the door I saw and bright sunlight came in. I had to turn back and the other woman who had asked for me suggested I try another building. I left the building and got in my car to drive around to other buildings. At the other buildings I went to there were several high school students milling around. I actually almost crashed into a parked brown car but noticed and stopped when I was probably an inch away from it. I backed away and continued driving around. There were no roads at the school at all, just gravel. The school actually appeared to be run down some and the students stared at me as I drove so it scared me some.
I eventually decided to go back to the original area I parked my car. When I got there several spots were open so I could've parked my car closer to the building than where my assigned parking number was. I actually did this but decided to go back to my spot since I thought the other people may have just left for something and would come back. When I got to my spot I heard a thump and looked in my rearview mirror to see a short metal protrusion from the ground, exactly like the kind I see in construction areas when they mark spots for future restrooms. Even though I had passed it I drove back over it so I could drive around it. Strangely, even though it appeared to be metal when I drove over it the first time it flexed so I could drive over it. I drove around it and parked my car in my spot. The day had changed to night and when I got out my car I decided to just pee next to my car since there was grass there. I relieved myself a little but there were people spilling out of the building and I didn't want to get caught so I zipped up and went into the building.
When I got inside it was a hotel and not the basketball gymnasium I had left. I came out of my room and started telling the other people I was with about my ordeal in finding a bathroom. The walls for the hotel were red with gold trim. We made sure we had our tickets and got into an elevator. The elevator actually tipped forward as if you were in an amusement park ride and accelerated forward exactly like a roller coaster. I was surprised by this but actually seemed to expect it as I closed my eyes and got ready for the ride. The elevator moved very fast as if going down a ramp and it finally shot out of the hotel into the sky. This was apparently the only way to get to the basketball game as it was being held in a secret location. While in the sky we could look out and see how high we were. We were flying over the high school and a couple of streets and were approaching an enclosed area that had barbed wire fencing around it, almost like a prison cell. I could see other elevators like ours approaching as well, all being shot down with green lasers. These lasers actually transported you to the location of the basketball event, again to ensure no one could leak its location. As we started to descend towards the area a laser shot us but we didn't transport. I wasn't too scared though as when we hit the ground it was actually water and we bounced back up high in the sky. Again more lasers shot us but none of them were working to transport us anywhere. We actually almost bounced out of the area where the lasers could reach you and I got concerned. As we approached the barbed wire I reached down out of the elevator to grab hold of it to keep us inside. We bounced from the ground a couple of times but still we weren't being transported.
Eventually we lost enough momentum to bounce and we got out of the elevator. The ground wasn't water even though it appeared to splash while we were bouncing from it, it was actually a large rubber mat. The people in the watch tower area had seen us and lowered down a metal ladder. All three of us walked over to it and climbed up. The area seemed very cramped and was all metal. After we got inside I noticed I had a nametag just like the other people I was with had. I had never gotten mine because instead of going into the basketball area I went searching for a bathroom. There weren't actual nametags though but codename tags, mine was tyrannical or something like that. One of us actually had three and a get out of jail tag. While still moving forward into the tower we came to the bedroom of the two people who manned it. It looked very messy and smoky. I looked out their window to the area we just passed and thought the window was open because I saw and felt a nice breeze. One of the guards smiled at me and turned off the screen, apparently what I had just seen was an illusion; there were no windows in this place. She invited the female in our group to come look at the controls since each group in an elevator was supposed to know how it worked in the event a laser didn't transport you. Even though she invited her I followed as well because I was curious how this all worked. The lady in my group fell back somewhere so it was only me and the guardswoman in the control room. Apparently I was supposed to be the designated person to know about the elevator, but because I left for my bathroom search I never got briefed.
A lot of times when I post to this blog I have to be in a certain mood; quite a few times I've deleted entire posts and just scrapped the idea of posting until it felt right. A recent event prompted that same "it's ready" feeling in me, only this time the feeling was directed at me and not to a post. It felt hugely and subtly transformative, a lot of strong feelings and emotions washed away.
Recently I was helping someone at work and talk moved to the character Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7. I had looked up his name once before and came up with information about the Tree of Life from the Jewish Kabbalah. At the time I wasn't hugely interested in studying it further and simply went about my life. But, having previously come across the relation between Sephiroth and mysticism, hearing his name again prompted me to, again, look him up. This time though I'm actually very interested in learning more about the Tree of Life.
It's fascinating to me how you can come across the same thing at two different points in your life and respond so differently to it. The Tree of Life is an understanding of the archetypical mind of our Logos. (I'd rather not use the word God because of the many connotations attached to it.) I first heard about this probably in 2002 when I stumbled across the Law of One. In those books other understandings of the archetypical mind were presented: astrology and the tarot. I've always liked astrology so I was familiar with it -- of course if you've ever heard of a horoscope you're likely familiar with it. The tarot is something that I've had some vague familiarity with and I got a little bit more acquainted with it via the Law of One books. The Tree of Life though was utterly new to me and I didn't pursue it. Ra did state that it is useful to become familiar with all three perspectives of the archetypical mind to find the one that you were most attracted to. So now, some 5 years later, I am attracted to the Tree of Life.
Another passage in the book I was reading mentioned the usefulness of disease to the body, stating that it was actually a natural function, providing an opportunity to cease viability of it. The plan of life being to acquire a satisfactory amount of life experiences in an incarnation. The idea of gathering life experiences reminded me of how I drink things. A lot of times I take in as much as my cheeks will expand to and then I swallow, rather than just drink as a stream. When I do this it allows me more time to taste the liquid. I started thinking life experiences are somewhat like that: you acquire as much as you can withstand and then you process them, you process them as they come, or more likely some combination of the two. Might explain why I'm ready to learn more about the Tree of Life now: I've made room for it by processing previously stored life experiences.
The mind is like a big oven. When you bake food in an oven you first add the ingredients, stick them inside, and later a new item comes out. Contemplation, at least for me, serves the oven role as it processes life experiences into a new perspective.
Okay, I have a confession to make about my vision improvement. For some reason I'm starting to see worse with my glasses, or at least making little progress, but -- and this is a big but -- I'm seeing better with my naked eyes! I was trying to use the -1.75 glasses for a while but things seemed to be getting blurrier with them so, sadly, I had to start back wearing my -2.25 glasses. Not too long after this I stumbled upon some really cool looking pinholes from ClearVision Hawaii. I really love these pinholes because they actually look stylish and they wraparound my face so I have a more pinholed-in area. (Haha, made that word up.)
I'm not sure if it was from wearing these new pinholes or not but my eyes have been feeling really good as of late. These glasses do curve around my face instead of being straight like my original pinholes so this may make a difference. In any case I have noticed I have to see a little differently out of them. Maybe it's these new glasses or just the accumulated effect of not wearing prescription lenses but I am really starting to see better without glasses than with them. Once when I was walking after skating a few laps I could make out a guy in a red shirt that was about a half mile away from me, instead of seeing a big red moving blob. I've had clear flashes before but this was prolonged and even survived a few blinks. When I walk to work from the parking lot I don't wear my glasses and there's an overall increase in clarity that I'm noticing, like trees look a little brighter, I can make out signs a bit further away than I'm used to. The main thing though is the feeling in my eyes, they just feel different now. Probably the best way I can relate it is that they kind of feel like the feeling of wiping away the mucus that accumulates around your eyes after you wake up. The feeling when you go from a tight crusted substance to a freeing nothing, my eyes feel like that on a near-constant basis now. Personally I view the feeling as my ciliary muscles relaxing after being tense and stiff for many many years.
The odd thing is that even though I'm noticing improving vision without anything on my eyes, when I wear my glasses it seems my vision is getting worse. Even when I put on my correct -3.00 lenses a few things, I'm starting to notice, aren't as clear as they should. Could be that my prescription is getting worse, I don't know. I do remember though that when I first put my glasses on for the very first time, 15 years ago, that the ground seemed really curved, so curved I thought I would fall off of it. But after a short while I got used to this curvy feeling and the ground seemed straight again even with glasses on. I really wonder now if glasses distort your vision beyond just stressing your ciliary muscles. Glasses are more or less straight whereas your eyes are curved. Maybe contact lenses don't have this problem? Hmm, I don't know, just speculating. But seriously, I am seeing better with my naked eyes even as I'm beginning to see worse with glasses.
I watched Sicko on Saturday and cried when I saw 9/11 volunteers suffering from chronic respiratory problems and other problems, unable to get treatment because they couldn't afford it or were flat-out denied by health insurance companies. After watching the movie I was very much for universal healthcare in America even though I've usually been against it. I'll admit I bought into the rhetoric against it, my main reason was along the lines that I didn't want to pay for someone getting diabetes from eating a diet loaded with sugary foods and drinks. Basically, I keep myself healthy so why can't you. But, after the movie, I saw how easy it is for anyone to have an accident and more importantly, to have insurance and still be denied treatment by your insurance company!
I've been doing more reading on universal healthcare lately because this movie really touched me, probably since health is a high focus of mine. It really is disgusting how our healthcare system is setup: designed to minimize its members utilization of it. This NewYorker article proved very enlightening on this subject. With most insurance schemes nowadays they're setup to minimize your use of it. Take an auto insurance policy, you cause a wreck your rates go up. It's an incentive for you to not utilize the service. In this case it's a good thing because it encourages you to be really careful behind the wheel. Health insurance though doesn't work well under this scheme, in fact it fares much worse. Disease gets worse the longer it goes unchecked so the sooner you treat and cure it the better. In terms of health insurance this means you want to utilize the service as soon as you can because it'll actually turn out to be financially cheaper than waiting. But the current U.S. health insurance schemes are setup like auto insurance, the more you use the more you pay.
I actually switched to a Health Savings Account (HSA) the moment I could a few years ago thinking it was the greatest thing. I was young, healthy, and rarely got the benefit of the high insurance premium I was paying so it seemed like a no-brainer. Now I feel like a total heel because by taking my money out of the insurance plan I was in, the sicker people that utilize the service will ultimately have to pay higher premiums. Man, HSAs are probably the worst thing, a complete antithesis to universal healthcare. I really don't like to get partisan on my blog and try to be fair, but I can't help but think the people who masterminded and presented HSAs knew about the long-term effect of them, i.e. as people switch to them there'll be less money in traditional health plans so rates will rise such that they become too expensive for anyone. Really have to wonder if the same forces in America that are against universal healthcare thought this up.
Ultimately the decision on whether or not we have universal healthcare in America rests not in issues such as costs, but whether or not we want to care for every citizen of the republic. Do you care more about yourself or society as a whole. I can't be a fence-sitter anymore, I want to help out other people and I'm willing to pay higher taxes to do so. If we really want healthcare for every citizen we can figure out the logistics and get it done. We do the same thing with the K-12 education system, we all pay taxes so our children can learn readin', 'ritin', and 'rithmetic. One thing's for sure, I need to cancel my HSA and switch back to a traditional group plan.