It's the little things
As possibly mundane and boring as it might sound, I get a lot of happiness knowing I have an hour or two or three to spend after making dinner to play chess or some other video game -- currently on
Final Fantasy X-2. I classify it in the boring category because it's nothing really outrageously fun like diving out of a plane or anything. But, you know, you gotta take happiness wherever and whenever it finds you.
When I was in college I used to walk around campus a little envious at the people that had cars, someday I said to myself, that'll be me. And in my senior year that someday came. And it was nothing really, whooptydo, I have a car. For a long time I never went to clubs because I was just shy and afraid of everything, but lately I've gone to a few and freed myself enough to
really enjoy dancing, haha! But, like my other secret dream, after I accomplished it I was like, "is that it?" Physical things and wants are so fleeting.
Because I've spent the better part of my life pondering about myself I've gotten really good at analyzing why I feel certain things. I think the real reason I'm so happy with the mundane acts of life and somewhat less than impressed with wants and desires, is that after all these years I'm letting myself be happy with who I am. I guess it's been a core desire and all the other things I've distracted myself with over the years have been surrounding desires. Desires, true enough, but not exactly what I really want, ya know.
It's strange, sometimes you can live your life a certain way, traveling far afield, metaphorically or literally, only to find what you've been looking for is where you've always been. Hmm... Life is a very cool and interesting thing.