Infinite change
The one thing I've been learning the most the past couple of days is
how much things change. My job is the same after 9 years, other friends
are married and make way more, I'm as old as the mom in my memory, the
13 year old I passed on the way from getting my mail reminds me of 13
year olds I knew when I was 13. Life, it's just a big old cycle, and
we're cute furry-less hamsters running around it 'til we can't run no
more. I can barely see the stars up above me, lack of glasses
notwithstanding. In the 20 or so years since I first became enamored by
them more cities have sprung up on the planet, so even at night the sky
has a dim glow to it. Sigh.
Sometimes I miss who I was. Nearly every experience was full of
possibilities and adventure, nearly everything was new to me. It's not
that I miss so much but the euphoria it engendered. The lack of
knowledge created a feeling not unlike the first few months of dating
someone, everything so new and full of possibilities.
There's not really a point to this post like I usually try to weave
into a posting. No, just a passing gust of wind that's grabbed some
thoughts from my head so I don't forget the gust existed. (Haha, that's
funny, and will probably create a breeze someday, hehe.) I thought
about not even posting it but then I thought and pondered over the fact
that my heart wished it. But "no one will read it", I said back to my
heart, "no one will care". My heart replied, "So, it's what I want to
do." Demanding little minx this heart is. But I've been falling in love
with it, and who can refuse a lover.
I still can't see the stars, but I can smell the Lilac Breeze fabric
softener from some anonymous person's laundry wafting in the air.
Smells as sweet and euphoric as it did 20 years ago. Aah, the joys of
civilization...