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The Silence

I don't think I've ever quite felt the way I've been feeling the past few days. It's a feeling kinda like wanting to go to sleep yet it's not sleep I want, not physical sleep anyway. But it definitely feels like a rest is needed, is craved. The same way your body makes you sleepy when it's tired, I've been feeling like that, like I'm called to rest, to calm.

Given my somewhat recent reading about entering the silence I immediately knew that's what the feeling was. Contemplation was emphatically not going to do the trick this time, I had to still myself. It's kind of exciting and weird at the same time since it's a new feeling for me. I think it's related to my pondering on what to do about my job. As much as I keep saying and thinking I want to quit I can't quite shake the feeling I'm doing something wrong. Sigh. Sometimes I hate trying to be authentic to my feelings rather than convention. :P

(You ever move about your environment and feel like you're in a dream? That you have a tenuous, yet instant, connection to your body? It moves, when you want it, but your attention is not entirely on it?

"Sleepy much?"

Ha...ha.... *At some point one must choose.*)

I'll have to make entering the silence more routine. All these "guys" keep talking about it like it's the greatest thing. It's calling me, that's for sure.

Posted: Tue, Aug 11 2009 11:14 PM by Humpty
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