Blog de Humpty

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The hills are alive, with the sound of...

There are times I wish I hadn't submitted my resume online, it's been nothing but chaos ever since. So many doors presented themselves to me, I had no idea how many there could be. Trying to choose from amongst them was, is, a bit much. More than anything it's forced me to decide what I want to do in life, how I want to live it. Do I stay safe, do what I know, forever and ever, or do I become a tad bit daring and do what my heart wants. But what does my heart want, it's not talking! It's so silent. So I feel I must go where it is, in the silence.

I haven't much had the desire to meditate before, not even when I've tried in the past. But now, it feels like I have to. The current of life has brought me into an area where I must choose. It's funny how life works, after the challenges of the past are overcome you become strong enough to tackle yet greater challenges. And so now, all my contemplations about how nothing is ever really bad, every decision can be seen in a positive light gets tested. Do I believe that, do I really? "Show me", life says, "show me what you have learned."

A test not unlike the ones I took Friday. The ones I apparently did so well on yet more opportunities presented themselves to me. In all honesty I'm happy. One of my stated desires of obtaining a position at a software development firm has presented itself to me. What I wanted I seem to be getting. Well, to a degree, heh. Making dreams into reality can be a tricky business, you really have to know what you want. The details of the dream need to be explored in finer and finer degrees until you have what you want. (You want monkey paw?) And so I've continuously had to visit and re-visit my heart, in its silence, and discover what is it dreaming.

I'm grateful for the people I know and have talked to. Some are firmly in the leave category, some are cautious but otherwise favor moving forward, some are yet more cautious still and advise of the wisdom of staying. All, and more, are very much appreciated. Everything gets incorporated. Caution manifests as more questions asked, legalese more thoroughly read. But what does my heart want. Sometimes the song it sings is sung so quietly. But yet it sings, it always sings, I know this much. For those with the ears to listen, the creation sings. Where I find the song is where I'll dance, there and only there.

Posted: Sun, Aug 30 2009 12:53 AM by Humpty
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