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June 2010 - Posts

Unconditional Love

Depending on where this is read you may or may not have seen a previous post of mine where I lamented the decision of another. It's only important to mention now as a backdrop for this post.

Someone commented an idea of accepting the actions of others that I wouldn't make myself. Despite believing I had learned this lesson it's occurred to me since I still have much to learn. Today I was sharing a method of doing a programming task with a coworker. They appreciated the info but decided to continue doing things as they have been. Of course I really believed my way was better :) but I think by then the lesson of accepting others as they are had been sinking in. There was still a twinge of perhaps impressing my will, but for the most part I recognized my way -- despite whatever perceived advantages I see -- is just one way, a way. I was mostly happy with that. I like that I'm making progress.

I imagine unconditional love as the sun actually. Strong and powerful, but yet peaceful as well. Physically the desire to expand, to share, tempered with the weight of wisdom; a balance found.

Given this mood I found myself going through memories. People that in some way I interacted with at one point in my existence but yet no longer do now. I'm happy for them with the changes I come across. For whatever reason I decided to experience life on this planet, in this way, I'm coming to the conclusion I had a theme of acceptance. Constantly I find myself relearning this lesson, in many sundry ways. Constantly I find myself re-realizing the importance of expressing the heart, the essence of a person. In these lessons it fascinates me to discover how much there is simply to learn, the many subtle ways I doubt and limit myself without realizing it. It's quite humbling actually. Acceptance of others as they are can hardly take place until I accept myself as I am I'm realizing.

That's all for now. Hope all who've read it enjoy it. (And if not that's cool too, I accept that. lol)

Posted: Wed, Jun 16 2010 12:39 AM by Humpty
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Being true to yourself

It occurred to me today while mixing up a sauce for dinner why it's important to be true to yourself. This has been a prime focus of mine for a long long time now. A few days ago I was talking to a friend and I spoke about things in our conversation I don't usually talk about. Talked about changing the world by living as if it exists already, similar to what Gandhi said in being the change you seek. So then I realized the importance of expressing myself.

But it was today that the light bulb went off in a big way. I had a mock conversation with myself, which I frequently do to hash out ideas. The circumstances that led up to the epiphany aren't quite so important. But I thought, "To not act in accordance with what I feel is energetically like denying what my eyes see. If I see a brick wall in front of me I don't attempt to continue to walk in that direction, but when I act in a way I don't feel that's essentially what I do." It's quite literally a blocking and stifling of myself, no progress can be made behaving in that manner. It simply does me no good to lie to myself, to deny what I feel is true, to adopt others' beliefs as my own if they conflict with me. There's an idea in mystical realms to act on what you have been given, for thoughts and actions to be one; I think I'm starting to see why it's important. (There's also a subtle calling to know yourself, an activity I'm starting to wonder that ever ends.)

I have to say it's definitely a fascinating journey I'm having in deciding I want to live in a different kind of world. It's the awareness and synchronicities. I think about the pitfalls of religions a lot in light of my newfound desire. Highly religious people believe fervently in things they can't prove but nevertheless believe. It's the same with me, I see the parallels. But then I wonder about the heart and giving away of one's power. At one point does a person believe in a loving religion while simultaneously believing in killing, or otherwise condoning maltreatment, of other people who don't believe as they do. Fear. Fear is the mind killer. Hmm.

Oh well, back to creating my world. :)

Posted: Fri, Jun 4 2010 12:06 AM by Humpty
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